Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize