I'm going to jail i love you
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
