i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
