:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
