My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
