in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
