Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Randomize
