like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
