we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
