So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
