PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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