But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
