don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
