I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
