I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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