I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
