fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize