I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
