Don't you send me to vm
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
