Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
