Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
