The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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