I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
