I'm eating all of the evidence.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
