i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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