You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
