Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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