bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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