is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
