Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
