bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
