Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
