Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
