she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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