Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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