i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
