My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
