why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
