I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
