Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize