Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
