pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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