Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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