There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
