Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
