I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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