My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
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how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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