is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize