I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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