Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
