If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm passing your future prison.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
