we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize