it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
