Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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