Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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