Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
