ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
