Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
