It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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