shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
