We won't sleep together?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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