I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
