He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
